For the last few months, I’ve put my mind to use on solving the perpetual laundry day dilemma- what happened to the missing sock(s), almost always one from a matching pair. Although this phenomenon is noted with missing singles from multiple pairs as well, my solution can also solve this issue as well.

For decades, the proposed loss has had some fantastical explanations- did they disintegrate into lint, and go out through the trap? Do they collapse into their own gravitational field and become dark stars? Do they simply escape? Many of these answers point to the dryer as the culprit, but probably only because it is the last link in the chain. Analysis of every step was necessary to find the solution to this perplexing issue.

Some of the answers are reflected in modern laundry circumstances.

First we should consider all of the steps a pair of socks go through. For this purpose, we’ll consider a pair of socks to be 2 that are normally worn together by the user, so they don’t necessarily have to match. So, they are worn by the user (however many times or days is up to the user, and doesn’t affect our analysis), make it to a laundry receptacle (“basket” “chute” “bag”), into the wash, often to a dryer, back in a receptacle, and put away (although for many, this step is optional). As well, if a different person or persons handles each step, that adds variance. The sock can be lost anywhere along this chain of events. So, anyplace a sock can go missing would have it’s own event horizon.

1. First, of course, they may not make it to the basket at the same time, and this appears to be a huge source of variance. In this scenario, they are not actually lost, they are just off-cycle. To solve this, I use a small basket only for socks, far reducing the chance that the pair won’t make it to the washer and dryer at the same time, keeping them synchronous.

2. Next, I visibly confirm that each member of the pair makes it to the washer, and on to the dryer. These are both areas of lost sock inventory- sometimes, they make it to the floor and under the washer or dryer. Once in the washer, as it turns out, gravitational force can play a significant role in the wash, not the dryer. Typical front loading washer can have up to 375 G of force in the spin. Here’s a place where I often find the wayward sock crammed into a very small small space in the bin.

3. Finally, let’s consider static- a spinning dryer bin creates a significant charge, not unlike a Van De Graaf generator. Socks may be trapped somewhere in the bin, but more often than not, they end up in a sleeve or pant leg encased in a few megavolts of static, or less likely, inside another sock. In this scenario, they aren’t really lost, but are again off-cycle until their more often than not accidental discovery. This almost always happens after the sock is given up for lost, and a new pair is purchased to replace the displaced pair.

I believe this accounts for all of the circumstances where a sock can go missing within a single dwelling. Obviously, if you take your laundry out of your home, that adds other loss event horizons along the travel route plus laundry steps above (transport to car, ride in car, transport to laundrymat, all events above, and reverse of this cycle). Better minds than mine may have further analysis, but hopefully this first world problem can be avoided with the solution proposed above. Or, you can just buy cheap socks and throw them away after each use.

(First written 2014)